Love, Joleen Photography Blog: Reflection

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Do you ever feel pressure to say just the right thing? It's hard to be your true self when you know that you're constantly being evaluated - by your boss, your friends, your family. I challenge you to name one person you know who doesn't want to be accepted by somebody else. It is because of this that I sometimes find it hard to write in this format. I feel I need to weigh my words against the feelings of others or the thoughts of my peers.

Lately, I've spent a lot of time in reflection. My life is still as busy as ever (with work, socializing, and creative endeavors) but so much less chaotic, if that makes sense. I still overanalyze everything. I still consider all the "what ifs" and "if onlys". At the same time I feel more at peace in my heart, head, and soul, than I have in a very long time. I can't remember the last time I was ridden with anxiety or had a panic attack. I wake up every day and try to live up to my potential. I know that God has great things in store for my life and I'm excited to be living it.

Without going in to great detail my sister, Sarah, decided to move back to California to be with my parents and the rest of our family. My mom was here last week and it was great to be able to spend quality time with her before they set off on Saturday. They're driving back with all of Sarah's belongings and are due to be home tomorrow. I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers you've shared for their continued safety. I already miss having my sister here but I know that it was the best decision for her and I'm excited to see what's in store for her in the coming months! (We took these silly photos together a few weeks ago.)

With all the commotion and change around here it's brought up a lot of thoughts and feelings for me. It's honestly frustrating at times and catches me off guard to feel sad or, at times, angry, at certain people and situations. These are feelings that I don't want to harbour in my heart anymore. I know that healing takes time and patience - my life is a testament to that - but sometimes I wish it came a little quicker and easier, don't you? ♥